Let them fend for themselves

WHY do some people feel the need to feed wild animals?

If you go to any park you’ll see people lobbing nuts and bits of stale bread at squirrels, ducks, swans, and geese.

There is absolutely no need. Leave them alone to find their own food, as nature intended.

These animals have managed to survive for thousands of years without having to live off our scraps.

As a result the behaviour of these animals is changing, they are becoming scavengers.

When they see a human they automatically expect to be fed.

You can’t go within 20 yards of geese these days without being hissed at and pecked at by the horrid creatures.

I’m doing a public service by having goose for Christmas dinner this year.

But what annoys me the most are the weirdos who feed pigeons.

These ‘birds’ are nothing but rats with wings. They’re flying vermin.

You wouldn’t encourage rats to congregate and multiply by throwing food out for them, so why do people do the same for pigeons?

All these birds do is hobble around on their deformed feet and cover nearly every square inch of the town centre with their stinking poo.

Yet some people (the ones I see always seem to be a bit dishevelled and odd looking) seem to revel in being surrounded by flocks of these things as they feed them crumbs.

I just don’t get it.

SPEAKING of wild animals, my mother-in-law came over to stay at the weekend, and despite being a tiny and frail octogenarian, she nearly blew Grundi Towers to smithereens.

She came to stay armed with a sackful of chestnuts and insisted we roast the lot and gorge ourselves silly on the things.

About 20 minutes or so after putting them in the Aga there was an almighty bang in the kitchen.

I ran in to find a scene of complete devastation.

The oven door had been blown wide open and the entire kitchen had been pebbledashed with remnants of a few dozen obliterated chestnuts.

Had anyone been in the kitchen at the time I fear they would have suffered serious shrapnell wounds.

Anyone would have thought I’d bunged a kilo of Semtex in the oven, not a few ‘harmless’ nuts.

Let this be a warning to you all. Be safe.