Grundi is the talk of the town

HAVE you ever wondered what it’s like to be a famous celebrity?

Well, yours truly doesn’t need to wonder, am already living that life, in a way.

Worksop is hardly A-list Central, and it’s fair to say I’m the closest thing to a celebrity this town has got.

The twist is, although everyone in Worksop knows and adores A.A. Grundi, very few people know who I am. Although I’m surprised the Bentley hasn’t blown my cover.

Like Batman, or Banksy, everyone wonders who I am.

I am able to move amongst you, unrecognised. I hide in plain sight.

Maybe I’m that bloke who was behind you in the queue at Sainsbury’s the other day,the mysterious chap who drinks alone and silently, propped against the bar at your local.

The most surreal part of all this for me, is hearing people I’ve never met before talking about me.

This happens all the time.

I was in a shop in town the other day and a couple of people were having quite an animated discussion about me.

It was all ‘Grundi this, Grundi that’.

They both seemed to agree that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to the town.

One of them questioned whether or not I was a real person, at which point the other angrily replied ‘of course he is!’

They chortled in unison as they reminisced about one of my hilarious ramblings.

This conversation went on for a good five or ten minutes.

All the while I was lurking and listening nearby, and my fans were blissfully unaware that their hero was in their presence.

I can assure you this was no isolated incident, it happens on a regular basis.

Over the years, I’ve seen dozens of people sat in the cafes and pubs of Worksop, the Guardian open at my page, chuckling away to themselves.

Worksop folk haven’t got much to be happy about, so it warms my heart that my inspired words bring a little bit of joy and sunshine to your dreary, dull lives.

For me, this makes it all worth while, makes it worth getting up in the morning.

But the adulation does come at a bit of a price. It’s not easy being responsible for lifting the spirits of a whole town. It’s a lot of pressure.

I’m just relieved people don’t realise who I am, I’d never get anything done what with signing autographs and posing for photos.

Oh, to be anonymous.