A.A. Grundi: There is no need to Do It Yourself

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Another Bank Holiday weekend, and another Bank Holiday rant, I’m afraid. I’m sorry, but I just have to let off some steam.

When Worksop’s great unwashed aren’t clogging up the countryside on long weekends, they indulge in an equally risible pursuit.

On wet Bank Holiday weekends the entire population of the region seemingly head to B&Q.

I spotted several DIY superstores where folk were actually queuing up the road to get in the car park.

What’s wrong with these people? And what is it about tungsten tip screws or some new decking that gets you lot so hot under the collar?

Once I’d got through all the snarled up traffic there was plenty of other evidence of DIY madness.

On estates across the town all you could hear was the sound of drills, hammers and saws - usually followed shortly afterwards by squeals of pain as some amateur almost loses a finger or thumb.

Personally I’ve never been one for DIY. Why do anything yourself when you can pay some shady ‘cash in hand’ labourer to do it?

I read somewhere that Amazon had seen almost a 75 per cent increase in sales of sledgehammers and welding equipment as people prepared to spend a day off pretending to be a builder.

And apparently someone did a survey that found over half the country was planning to spend their long weekend doing DIY.

I guarantee that most of them will have spent Tuesday searching Yellow Pages for a professional to clear up pig’s ear they’d made.

And in the end it will have cost them more than if they’d just done that in the first place - the tradesmen of this country must spend the week after a Bank Holiday rubbing their hands together with glee.