The Venice of North Notts?

WORKSOP was transformed into the Venice of North Notts last Thursday.

Bridge Street was so deep in water that you could have easily floated up and down the high street in a gondola.

Someone sent me a message saying: “Worksop town centre is covered in effluent.” What’s new there, I thought.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the result of a masterstroke scheme to attract tourists to the town in their thousands.

The culprit was a burst water pipe that spewed gallons of water up on to the street, flooding shops and making the town centre a no go area.

Shops were forced to close for a good portion of Thursday afternoon, as well as Friday morning.

This is just the kind of thing local businesses need when the economy is on the brink of collapse.

The council reacted quickly – providing sandbags to shopkeepers to stem the flow of water seeping into their premises.

The same cannot be said for Severn Trent Water, who are responsible for the pipe that burst.

It took them a good couple of hours to come out to fix the damage.

No hurry, lads, it was only people’s livelihoods at stake.

The fire service too, were in no great hurry to help out.

To be fair, they were probably bogged down in a game of poker or pool.

I WAS heading up towards Sainsburys the other day and some clowns from Notts County Council had coned off the bypass, from Millhouse roundabout up to Sainsburys, so they could cut the grass and “tidy up” the verges.

The traffic chaos was one thing, and the fact they needed THREE lorries, a tractor AND about 12 blokes in dayglo jackets to do it, was another.

But the REAL upshot is that they only succeeded in churning up the tons of junked rubbish from Worksop’s finest boy racers from the hedge bottoms.

Chewed up McDonalds rubbish, plastic bags, empty lager cans, fag packets, polystyrene junk and all sorts of other garbage was all churned up by the tractor blades and strewn across the road like an explosion at a council refuse tip.

All these tattered remnants, scattered across all lanes on the dual carriageway, while they all stood around scratching their heads and wondering: “Eh? How the hell did THAT happen? And what do we do now?”

Meanwhile, we’re all crawling along in one lane, traffic backing up all along the ring road, trying not to get punctures from jagged shards of beer cans.

Only in Worksop.