Deck the hall with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la la.
‘Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.
Now, I bet you’re all thinking that I’ve finally lost my marbles, and should be packed off to some home for the infirm.
Rest assured, I am still in total control of all my faculties. Just about.
So why the sudden outburst of festive rhymes?
Well, apparently it’s time to start getting into the Christmas spirit.
That’s what the nation’s supermarkets and high street chains would like us to believe anyway.
It may still be the first week of October, but it seems everywhere I go I have Christmas rammed forcibly down my throat.
I popped into a card shop the other day to get my sister a birthday card and everywhere I looked there were snowmen, reindeers, and Santas.
It was nigh on impossible to find any wrapping paper that didn’t have Christmas trees or snowflakes on.
And don’t get me started on my latest weekly shop. To say it turned out being a long, drawn-out affair would be an understatement of almost biblical proportions,
Nothing was where it usually is, all the staples like bread, eggs, and champagne had been moved to some far-flung dusty corner of the store to make way for selection boxes, Christmas puddings, crackers, and turkeys.
I swear this is a modern phenomenon. Going back 20 or 30 years, Christmas products and promotions wouldn’t appear in the shops until late November at the earliest.
This massive run-up to Christmas devalues the whole thing to the point where the true meaning of Christmas - presents and copious amounts of food and drink - is lost.
But the thing is, the shops wouldn’t start selling this guff so early if there weren’t so many saps willing to buy it.
So what I want to know is - who are these people who buy Christmas puddings on 2nd October?
There are still 11 weeks to go until 25th December, so what’s the big rush?
We all like to be organised, but this is verging on OCD.
Are you one of these people? I’m giving you the opportunity to defend your actions - speak now or forever hold your peace.
Do what I do and leave it all until Christmas Eve, it’s all a lot cheaper then.