It has taken years of ceaseless searching, but we’ve finally found something that Worksop gets five stars for.
Our town’s shopping and leisure facilities are lucky if they scrape a couple and fine dining is likely to score a nul points from most judges.
But in one area Worksop appears to be way ahead of the competition - as a venue for seedy sexual encounters in public toilets.
The Priory Centre’s loos have been closed down because of anti-social behaviour - which includes debauched antics like drug taking and sex in public amongst gay men who have never met before.
All pretty disturbing to the unfortunate individuals who use the shopping centre - and particularly the elderly folk forced to scamper off up Bridge Street just to find the closest loo.
A classic case of the mindless minority making life very difficult for the law abiding majority.
Although there may be some possibilities for tourism locally.
You won’t find much mention of the town on Trip Advisor or in the back of a Lonely Planet guide just yet, but Worksop is clearly the new San Francisco.
Just a casual browse over the internet reveals that the Priory Centre toilets score five stars for the facilities it provides for gay blokes who enjoy a random encounter or two.
The toilets are pictured here and they don’t look like the most romantic of spots to me - but whatever rocks your boat I suppose.
If you like the stench of urine and the sight of discarded toilet roll during your amorous encounters I suppose this squat red brick building must be like the banks of the Seine or a weekend in a five star honeymoon suite.
If I’m caught short any time soon I’ll be running back to Grundi Towers instead - if only there was a McDonalds in town...