Nottinghamshire. It’s not great is it? Crime, sink estates , drugs, unemployment. And that’s just the nicer parts.
Us Notts folk haven’t got much to shout about.
But it could be worse, people. We could be from Yorkshire.
Our neighbouring county makes Notts look like California.
Those Yorkies really do get excited by the simplest things.
Millions of them, gurning like fools, took to the cobbled Yorkshire streets at the weekend because they had been hoodwinked into thinking they were witnessing some major sporting event.
They were all giving it the big ‘I am’ , and banging on about how great their county is.
The Tour de France comes to Yorkshire.
Except, it didn’t. Because unlike these silly Sheffielders, and little Loiners, I happen to have a half decent grasp of geography, and know that Yorkshire is not in France, not even close.
Tour of Yorkshire? Yes. Tour de France? No.
If I went up to Kilton Forest Golf Course with my mates for a round, and referred to it as the US Masters, this wouldn’t mean it actually was.
The grim streets of Brightside and Attercliffe in Sheffield are as far removed from the majesty of the the Champs -Elysees, and Alpine vistas, as Kilton Forest is from the pristine greens and ice-white bunkers of Augusta National.
As you can see from the pic on the right, one of the top Tour de France teams - Astana - swung by Worksop the other day.
They no doubt called in to pick up some tips from Worksop’s cyclists on how to bomb down Bridge Street at full pelt on market day on a BMX, topless.
Either that or they just couldn’t get out of Yorkshire fast enough.